Category Archives: Other English Poems

Rear Fear

Rhymes with rear
Which I suspect
Is a cause of fear.

Vowel Correct

To live,

I believe,

is not a great idea,

when it is time …

to leave.


Are a cult of mystics
Whose rites oft include
Style inspired by Ogden Nash.


A poem a day
Keeps poetry away.
A poem long
Is love without song.

Gastric Pains

Newspapers are known for their crazy newz
Along with garbage and other refewz
Consuming newspapers for breakfests
Invariably causes tummy upfests
But many there are who
Eat more than twenty two
Newspapers every aawa
And suffer ailments seveawa
Their reasons I don’t wish to know I fears
It’s best that I mind my own affears
But I do believe that this wretched earth
Without newspapers will dance in mirth.


Appealing most
Is a ghost
For unlike I
It needn’t die.


I wish I knew why my dear little wife
Is mortally afraid of the boxing glove
With which I tenderly hold the knife
To caress her neck and prove my love.

Strange indeed’s my dear little wife
Who begins to howl at my very sight
Simply because of the loving blow
I normally land her before we fight.

The Wait

I often wonder where she could have gone
Up the River Nile or to Northallerton
In Geography, I’m afraid, she had never been too good
And I shan’t be surprised if she landed in a wood
Trapped in thick bushes among poisonous snakes
Lunching with them over strawberry cakes
But then, who knows, she could have lost a hair clip
In search of which she went away, aboard a ship
To some picturesque port in Peru perhaps
Or distant Iceland on a journey without maps
Though I cannot rule out that she learned her Chinese
And climbed up a cloud to chase ganders and geese
I hope against hopes though that from Bologna or Bonn
She’ll return back someday and cease to be gone.