Newspapers are known for their crazy newz
Along with garbage and other refewz
Consuming newspapers for breakfests
Invariably causes tummy upfests
But many there are who
Eat more than twenty two
Newspapers every aawa
And suffer ailments seveawa
Their reasons I don’t wish to know I fears
It’s best that I mind my own affears
But I do believe that this wretched earth
Without newspapers will dance in mirth.